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Hi! - if you suffer with anxiety this series of blogs, on tips to beat anxiety, is going to give you simple straight forward actions - yes! - actions to beat it in small steps. You CAN be free of it so read on, lets get you moving forward positively now!
Firstly let's understand what anxiety is as it is different to fear. Fear is a response to a real or an immediate perceived threat, whereas anxiety is the expectation of something threatening in the future. So it is not real because it hasn't happened yet! Anxiety is due to thinking about all the things that could go wrong in the future, the 'what if's', the things that often you have no control over. Basically you convince yourself by focussing so intently on what you do not want to happen its almost like willing it to happen and therein lies the answer to your anxiety!
Now anxiety sometimes is appropriate, of course 'shit' happens and stressful challenging situations will often be a cause of anxiety and there can be other causes such as hormone imbalances, stages in life ( eg. motherhood, a new job), overwhelm, feelings of powerlessness and so on, so I am not saying for one minute that anxiety itself is not real. However, I want you to understand that the greatest hope available is within YOU, and there is help out there and I really want to help! Don't give up if you have tried other things and they haven't worked! You just know that you need to keep looking for the right solution for you. That is what will make you succeed.
If your thinking pattern and behaviour has become so automated in continuously dreading and expecting the worst, which has created your feelings of doom, stress, worry and panic then by changing your habit of thinking you change your habit of being, acting and responding.
YOU have control over your thinking, this is where your power is and the solution - you change your mind and focus on how YOU want to be, feel and appear in the world. So you see! - YOU can uncreate your anxiety in the exact same way that you created it but this time you are going to be clear and smart about choosing and creating better, more positive and empowering thoughts.
Now there is one thing I want to be clear about here and that is that YOU have to want to change what you are experiencing in your life. So you need to commit to yourself and decide to take the action and do whatever it takes to free yourself from anxiety. ARE YOU IN? Yay! Wonderful!
I am here to support you so please keep in touch on my FB page or by email. Send me your questions and concerns. We all need support.
A-B-C .... AS EASY AS 1-2-3........
Tip 1 Awareness - if you are feeling anxious become better at being aware of it and in the moment you start to feel tense, uneasy, breathless, panicky, doubt and so on - stop your thinking and ask yourself these 3 questions -
What is it I have been thinking about?
What words have I been saying to myself?
What pictures have I chosen to put in my mind?
It is likely that to start with it may be quite hard to remember what has been running through your mind prior to you recognising you are beginning to feel anxious or are already experiencing all sorts of physical symptoms such as muscle tension, irritability, shallow breathing etc. This is because your pattern of thinking has become so automated it is just running and running without any real conscious effort from yourself.
This is what you want to change, so being AWARE is the first step.
Tip 1 action - What I want you to do is really, really simple, it takes practice and repetition ( just like learning your times tables or how to drive)
ALL YOU DO IS SAY TO YOURSELF HUNDREDS OF TIMES A DAY
"I AM ENOUGH"
Why? ....because we are training you and your brain to let go and accept yourself as the wonderful being that you are. It starts to create a different pathway in your brain. A pathway to feeling better and so just like when a fork in a path comes up and you have been hellbent on taking the familiar, well trodden path today, you are choosing deliberately to take the other unfamiliar, more exciting path....oooooh!?
one step at a time.
DO NOT EXPECT MIRACLES IN THE FIRST DAY! THAT IS NOT SUPPORTING YOURSELF OR ACCEPTING YOURSELF FOR WHERE YOU ARE NOW AND DO NOT GIVE UP -
PRACTICE SAYING IT, SINGING IT, WRITING IT ON MIRRORS, ON SCREENSAVERS, POST IT IN A LOVELY PATTERN IN COLOURS ON YOUR FRIDGE, BE CREATIVE AND FOCUS ON THOSE WORDS AND SAY IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT, MAKE IT IMPORTANT BECAUSE YOU ARE IMPORTANT RIGHT?
BE KIND AND PATIENT WITH YOURSELF - IF YOU COMMIT TO SAYING THIS ONE SIMPLE THING YOUR ACCEPTANCE OF YOURSELF WILL BE SO MUCH STRONGER AND IT WILL INCREASE YOUR SELF WORTH.
IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL CALM AND YOU WILL BEGIN TO NOTICE AS THE DAYS GO BY HOW A NEW MORE POSITIVE PATTERN OF THINKING IS NOW FORMING A NEW BETTER HABIT FOR YOU! THAT IS HOW THE MIND WORS - YOU TELL IT WHAT YOU WANT!
Tip 2 Being - by this I mean what is your state of being? Are you sitting, standing or moving like a person who is anxious, worried, stressed? Do you feel tight in your neck and shoulders, tense in your head and jaw?. Are you irritable, tired, lacking in energy? Well how is that working out for you? Fees uncomfortable doesn't it? As if you are stuck? Blocked, Powerless even? Then this is going to require a very firm deliberate form of action to change your state of being. It is basically a pattern interrupt technique. Again your thinking and belief system has been running you on this negative course of doom on auto-pilot but this is not fun! It is not serving you and so you deliberately ( I love this word) choose to change your state of BEING.
Tip 2 action - this is like being a movie star, you are going to start to act differently. When you are feeling the tension and stress and you notice how you are maybe crumpled up and slouching when you are sitting, or you walk around slowly, cautiously or timidly, you are going to change your state quickly, easily and effortlessly. Just change how you are sitting, standing or walking. Be yourself, Be your body, Be in the moment and calmly decide to sit or stand up straight, to your full height, look around you and take a few deep breaths in and out. Notice yourself in that moment and if you are walking do it with purpose, Be this amazing wonderful person that you are. Step into recognising what you can become now. The past is gone the present, right NOW is when we are really alive. Be in the moment, Be with yourself and Be your own biggest supporter. If you have a favourite character from a movie or look up to someone in your life, I'm not saying try and be like them I'm saying focus on things you admire in others that help you to see what and how you would like to be, to do, to have. This is about who YOU are, not about other people's expectations of you. Being a human being is about being connected to yourself on every level. Physically, emotionally, spiritually and psychologically.
Deliberately decide to practice 'Being' who you are truly meant to be!
Why would you want to do or Be anything else?
Remember you are enough just the way you are and life is all about growing and expanding and becoming more in what you want for yourself in your life. More happy, more skilful, more patient, more positively focussed, more supportive of yourself, .......more excited about your future, so dream more, do more and Be more like the real you step by step.
Tip 3 Change -as Einstein said , and lets face it he was a pretty intelligent and forward thinking guy, and I am putting into my own words here - if you keep doing the same thing you cannot expect to get different results.
So, if you don't like the results you are experiencing, you have to change what you are doing. If you do more of the same you will continue to get the same things in your life. That is just how it is! No excuses! Would you agree?
Tip 3 action - this is a really easy peasy tip to action. Just make an agreement with yourself that you are going to change just one or two small things and I want you to actually write down that commitment to yourself. This is where you start. Progress and success comes from good, solid foundations. Be patient and enjoy and be excited about how you grow positively into a better state of being!
Please write these things down where you will see them and read them every day for at least 7 days and then make new ones or just repeat again for a 2nd or even 3rd week, you will know when you ar ready to challenge yourself a little more in making further piste changes to feel better and be free of anxiety.
FOR EXAMPLE
I promise to myself that I fully commit to changing two things that will move me toward feeling less anxious and more happy, calm and empowered.
OR
I want to be free of anxiety and I am happily choosing to committing to change 2 things
My goal changers are -
1) I am no longer going to drink coffee all day. I choose to drink 2 cups of coffee before 2 pm and I also feel happy about that as I know this will help (after maybe a day or two of headache) me to feel less anxious and agitated and will improve my sleep. I will drink more water instead which is so much better for me.
2) I am going to practice 10 focussed breaths on 3 separate occasions every day, Morning, mid-day and in the evening or before sleep. As I breathe in I am saying to myself "I am enough" and as I breathe out slowly I am saying to myself Let go, let go, let go.....
Please keep in touch. Let me know if you have any concerns or questions and then I will know how best to help you. The feelings and symptoms of anxiety are caused by constant circling thoughts about things you worry about happening in the future that have not even happened yet and this constant state of over-thinking and over-reacting, is something you CAN overcome.
However, sometimes there may be clear issues, challenges or concerns that require seeking out help, gaining, knowledge or becoming more assertive and clear about what is acceptable to you and so there may be other things going on in your world as well as the anxiety. Whatever it is in your life, the tips above still apply.
YOU make the commitment to change, seek out and find what you need to get yourself out of the situation, have faith in yourself and always know nd say to yourself often ....." I AM ENOUGH"